He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him.
A Tuesday morning is just as good as any other day for God to give me a new song. That verse was on my mind all day yesterday and I just want to share it with all of you as well.
Personally, 2020 was an entirely new type of difficult for me. Many things were well beyond my control and even so, I had to take control -of my life and the vision for my family. I felt many times that I was literally gutting myself to push through some very difficult moments and there were so many days when all I really wanted was to put the knife away and go back to old dreams and plans. While that would’ve been an easier thing to do in those moments, I knew that it would just postpone the inevitable. The only way out -was through. And so, through I went.
In spite of the demands of 10 kids (all day, every day), in spite of a new home in a new state and all that journey entails to become established, in spite of my best dog growing old and passing on, in spite of the decline and then sale of my favorite car, in spite of shifting bedrooms when my oldest moving back home, (now due any day with my first grandbaby), and even in spite of – most unfortunately, the end of an 18 year marriage, God was with me. But man, I’d be lying if I didn’t say sitting alone crying at my new church every week didn’t sit well with my soul.
I was defeated. I was exhausted. And downright embarrassed- if we’re being real.
The other side of that year doesn’t feel so bright yet. I am navigating and learning in front of my children, I’m answering questions that don’t have answers, I am being honest and raw.
Ultimately, we’re all ok. And God is still good.
But then Tuesday morning came- and God and I were talking. God is giving me a new song.
Its time to set aside what was and live in the present. Its time to begin focusing on the hope I have in tomorrow. Weeping may last for a night- but JOY comes in the morning. I need to begin focusing on the joy I do have surrounding me. And there is plenty.
I am making friends and connecting with people, I am in a beautiful home in a new place filled with endless adventures. I am about to be a GRANDMA! (like, any day!) I have been getting to know my older kids on a deeper level than before. We got a new puppy. And yesterday, Tuesday, I traded in our 15-passenger van for a new SUV. Time is moving right along, kids are growing up and life is so incredibly different, but it doesn’t have to be bad.
God put a new song in my mouth, and I put a new car in the driveway.
It was a good Tuesday- and this is a good life. And I can’t wait to start sharing it again with all of you ❤