2 Corinthians 12:9

I do not have the same baby pictures for all of you or the same quality time during the day to spend anymore. I can’t stretch any thinner a budget that is already spent so the time and money get parsed out first to the younger half (or the biggest emergency of a big kid). I try not to hammer down on the “single mom” thing too often but our ratios are off big time in this house!  I have to leave my shortcomings now for Jesus and therapy to fix because I am just never going to fill that gap. And you know what? I don’t have to.

When I’ve hit a personal wall because I am pretending things between my kids can be equal or perfect or better, I must stop and rest in this instead-

Here’s what I know is equal;

I will stay up all night driving to get you.

If you’re in the hospital, I wont leave.

If you tell me something shady- I will tell you that its shady or dangerous or bad for your soul and I will do that unapologetically every time, across the board.

If you ask me to meet a special someone – I will be my best self and you will be never have to wonder about my character.

If you tell me an important event – I will prioritize it and soak up the moment with you.

I am a natural cheerleader, if you need encouragement, know I am your biggest fan and I will never be ashamed or afraid to shout that from the roof tops.

You are specifically always prayed for.

You will never go without basic necessities if you make your needs known, I can help you gather resources, or give what I have.

You are so incredibly valued and loved by Jesus and your mama!

If I could’ve completed all the baby books, seen every milestone firsthand, attended every event, bought every last Christmas list item, and soaked up more time with each of you, I probably would have. But that is just not what God had in mind when he was building us and our family. Our character, our integrity, our grit, and everything that makes us who we are is because of the time and money we had (or did not have) while you were all growing up.

I am constantly reminded of the verse “My grace is sufficient for you- my power is made perfect in weakness”. Thank you, Jesus, for filling in the gaps and shortcomings. Your consistent power and grace and provision has created some wonderful humans (with a little help from a loving mama).