A whole life can change based on decisions that are made when you don’t yet know what’s happening- (even when you think you know the future, when you’ve already got a plan). In our case, in one moment, our life changed with the realization that “little brother” needed us too. In that moment it was easy to say yes. There was an end in sight, this was short term, I was already on FMLA from “N”, dealing with his medical needs and so it seemed easy to say yes. What is more precious than helping a brand new baby?
The day between his birth and the day of the phone call that he was on his way here was the only day that “B” and I did not know each other. He spent that day with his mother. It was also the only night they have ever spent together. I know his parents love him too in their own way and I know that they need prayers as much as their children- maybe more so.
His coming home wasn’t easy- there was no fanfare, I went back to work with virtually no sleep- for months- and no true understanding that while I did not physically deliver a baby- I was raising one. I didn’t mention him at work or any of his new baby musings because I knew that no one understood…10 kids. There were allergies to discover, endless teething, and many sleepless nights. My husband and I were torn between our freedom being within reach, our own children growing older and more independent, going from no cribs, to now two cribs and yet there were these little boys that we loved and wanted so badly to thrive, boys who needed to have each other as much as they needed us.
I am sharing this because it was all worth EVERY minute because of days like tomorrow.
Adoption of “B” means that my husband and I will be at his middle school, high school (potentially college) graduations. It means we will watch him get his first hit in baseball, ride a two wheeler, and get on that Kindergarten bus. Adoption means someday I will meet his spouse and children if that is the path he chooses to take and we will help in his ability to grow into a man with purpose and drive. Our family and our home will be his foundation.
There is no shortage of emotion involved when an adoption finalizes. It is a culmination of moments in which my husband and I do the best we can, and hope we know what we are doing. It is the closing of a chapter of loss and trying to rebuild and grow our family with compassion and empathy, and it’s the result of our patience and persistence.
So even though “he’s always been ours” and “we are the only parents he’s known” tomorrow means something. Actually tomorrow means everything when we add this page to his story. “B” will be one of us tomorrow, one of our sons / brothers/ cousins / grandchildren -with no explanation needed.
Happy Second-to-Last Adoption Day Eve friends! – I am blessed for the ways our lives have intersected and the path that God has blessed us with in spite of ourselves.